Family Fortunes
by EM-D8
Summary: Susan decides to have the whole family together on holiday for three weeks, which means that Ben takes some convincing. His mood doesn't improve when Nick wins the lottery...
1. Holiday plans

"Where's Michael?" Ben asked, looking left and right as though he expected him to burst out of the piano. "Not that I'm complaining, but..."  
  
"He's at the cinema with his friends," Susan said happily, sorting through the mail. "And Abi's out too."  
  
Ben sat himself down on the sofa next to his wife. "You know, this is one of the advantages of having only two kids in the house," he said. "better chance of both being out."  
  
"Oh look," Susan interrupted. "A letter from Janey."  
  
"What does she want this time?" Ben groaned. "Money?"  
  
"Of course not, Susan said, opening the envelope. She extracted the letter inside. "Well, yes. But... oh Ben! She's coming to visit us!"  
  
"Can't we just give her extra money?" Ben complained.  
  
Susan ignored him. "She wants to come for a fortnight or so."  
  
"We're busy."  
  
"You know what?" Susan said. "It's so long since we saw the whole family, together. Why don't we spend a few weeks with everyone here? Abi and Michael and Janey and baby Kenzo and Nick..."  
  
"Oh no," Ben said, standing up. "We only just got rid of him..."  
  
"He left ages ago!" snapped Susan. "Anyway, it's not right away."  
  
"Oh good," Ben said sarcastically. "I can hide anything breakable."  
  
"I think we should all take a holiday," Susan said suddenly.  
  
"Oh, no no no no no." Ben jabbed a finger at himself. "_My_ money. Remember?"  
  
"Don't be silly, Ben," she replied. "You're just in denial because you haven't seen all your children for ages."  
  
"For good reason."  
  
"Anyway, I'll help in the cost. I think Spain sounds nice."  
  
"Susan, last time we went to Spain, I got arrested."  
  
"You picked up the language, you'll manage fine this time."  
  
"I'm not going to Spain unless I can push Nick off a mountain."  
  
"Good. So that's settled."  
  
"Gah!" Ben said, as Susan left. He fell onto the sofa again, and switched on the television.

* * *

E/N: I've always liked _My Family_, but this is my first fanfiction of it. Hope you liked! Even if you didn't, please review this chapter. 


	2. It's back

Two days later, Ben walked in the living room to find someone searching through some cardboard boxes.  
  
"Oh God," he said. "Susan! It's back!"  
  
"Hi dad," Nick said, taking his head out of the boxes. "Miss me?"  
  
"What are you doing? Or more correctly, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm looking for anything valuable," Nick said, searching through the boxes again. He pulled out a plastic bubble-wrap bag and slid it on his hand. "I'm a _genius_."  
  
"Yes, you'll make millions," Ben said, uninterested, sitting down on the sofa.  
  
"You think?" he asked, pleased. "You see, dad, bubble wrap is the ultimate protection. If everyone wore these on their hands, papercuts and bruises on the hands would never exist again! I'll make a fortune!"  
  
Ben stared at him in disbelief. "You haven't changed much, have you?"  
  
"They might even elect me Prime Minister!"  
  
"Oh no." Ben jumped up. "Nick; give me that!"  
  
"Ah, so you're interested now?"  
  
Ben stopped reaching for the bag and sat down again. "No, I was trying to test your bruise theory." He flicked on the television. "Put it over your head and..."  
  
"Nick! You've arrived!" Susan said, entering the room and hugging him. "You got our letter?"  
  
"No, I had a vision that you wanted me back," he announced proudly.  
  
"Well, you're back. Goodbye," Ben said.  
  
"You brought all your things..." Susan continued, looking worried.  
  
"Not all of it," Nick corrected. "Just things that might be of sentimental value." He waved a lottery ticket and kissed it. "Five-hundred and fifty-sixth time lucky!"  
  
"Oh Nick," his mother said, hugging him. "You're still as innocent as you always were."  
  
"Oh, that reminds me. Dad, your car was towed earlier for parking outside the chip shop."  
  
"I haven't even been--" Ben said, furious.  
  
"Hi Nick," Michael said as he walked past and up the stairs.  
  
"Ah, Michael... You're still the same young man..." Nick said after him. Then: "It's great to be back. I missed this sofa." He bounded on it, next to Ben.  
  
"Get... off."  
  
"Nick, you do know that we're going on holiday soon?"  
  
"Home alone!" Nick said, punching the air.  
  
"No, you're coming with us, dear," Susan corrected him.  
  
"No he's not," growled Ben.  
  
"Home alone!" Nick said again.  
  
"Fine, fine, fine. You're coming, but we keep you on a tight leash." He glared. "Literally."

* * *

Nick is brilliant... unfortunately he's incredibly hard to recreate, but I tried. Please review this chapter too! 


	3. Good morning

Ben rolled over in bed, tired. He'd found it hard to sleep last night. The fact that they were leaving for the airport the next morning didn't help at all. How would he survive? How long had Susan said? Two, three weeks? Either way, it would be difficult to manage...

He'd managed to get himself sorted out eventually, stumbling downstairs at two in the morning to get some asprin. Why was the medicine cupboard full of abandonded Coco pops? Nick had only been here a day.

Ben yawned, and the alarm went off. He opened his eyes and nearly had a heart attack.

"Morning, Dad," said Nick happily, sitting back at the foot of the bed, hugging a box of cornflakes.

His father tried to stop himself from growling. "I don't need you to wake me up," he settled with saying, trying to resist strangling Nick and sqeezing tthe pillow instead. "The alarm was enough, so GET OFF!" These last words were accompanied by a kick in the direction of his son, who jumped off, sending cornflakes flying everywhere.

Honestly. How had he and Susan created... _that_? The other two were all right. The only explaination was that Susuan had been having an affair. The thought relaxed Ben slightly. Either that or he'd been having an off night.

Downstairs, the family was crowded in the living room.

"Are you sure you don't want me to whip something up?" Susan was asking.

"No thanks," Nick said, turning the cornflakes box upside down to coax out any last remaining crumbs.

"Really mum, we're fine," Michael insisted quickly.

Janey shook her head, Kenzo clamped in her arm safely. "Where's Abi?" she asked. "Or is she not coming?"

"No, she's upstairs gathering the last few items together," Susan said calmly.

Ben sat himself on the sofa. "Why did you set my alarm for five thirty?" he asked.

"Because I knew it would take you an hour to get up," his wife replied cheerily. "And you're here now. Should I fry something for you?"

"How about Nick?"

"Honestly, dad," Michael said. "We've got to put up with him too."

Ben sighed. "But are you responsable for him?" Without waiting for an answer, he got up and walked out to the car. "I'm going to go and sit in the car," he announced loudly. "My last final minute of freedom."

He stopped and looked around through the selection of coats and hats piled by the door. "What the-? Susan!" he said. "I can't find my passport!... well, have fun without me."

"Got it here, dad," Nick said, holding up a small red book above his head.

* * *

I'm not sure whether this chapter is long enough... but I'll try and write more on this. I had writer's block and I couldn't get anything into my head...  
A biiiiiig thanks to everyone who helped me. And to ALL the reviews I had. I serisouly couldn't believe how many you'd left. Thanks for all your ideas, to Rach and whoever mentioned putting Roger in. I probably will put him in somewhere, seeing as I've got Abi, why waste it? P  
PCBabySunribbon, yes, I love that episode... it's my favourite XD  
As usual, comments and ideas much appreciated. 


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